Reasons to own a Maserati

First let me make it clear, there are no logical, sensible or truly rational reasons for owning a Maserati. They are fantastically impractical, ridiculously overpowered, drink fuel as though there is no such thing as global warming and don’t even get the highest reviews when compared to similar cars. So, accepting that this is entirely a case of self
justification, I present my reasons for owning a Maserati

  1. There is something fun about going fast. I know it is childish and my kids are probably more fans of speed than I am, but damn it, it just gets the juices running. More than that, there is something about purring along at 3,000 rpm at 90 mph (145km/h): The car is not even trying and yet you are already eating up the miles. Of course, I only recommend going this fast in Germany or Montana where there are no speed limits. Elsewhere all owners of fast cars obey the speed limits all the time. Yeah right, like you are going to stick to 70mph all the time in England.
  2. You are buying somewhat of a luxury car and this is reflected in the quality of little things like the support of the seats (and even the leather used in the seats): It is just that little bit better than a “regular” car. True it is not in the out and out luxury category (but it is pretty damned close) but as an example of the added comfort, I just spent 9 straight hours driving across Europe with only the briefest of stops to refuel the car and me; I finished the drive comfortable, relaxed and ready to do it again. But I guess that is what the definition of what a GT car should do, and my model is a 3200GT. Still, it is nice to know that it does exactly what it says on the tin.
  3. If you buy an older model the depreciation is not that bad: I expect to lose ~£1500 in depreciation in a year; that is less than you would lose if you bought a 2 year old Ford Mondeo and sold it a year later (in fact it is almost half what you would lose if you bought a 2 year old Ford Mondeo and sold it a year later). OK, the servicing costs of Italian engineering may well be more than the difference, but then again it may not. And in the meantime, you are driving a Maser, whilst the matey over the road is driving a Mondeo. Durr! Oh yeah, and another financial justification: You can buy a 6 year old 3200GT for the same price as a 1 year old Ford Mondeo.
  4. You are buying a legendary car marque. And people will stop you in car parks, driving down the street and at traffic lights and ask: “Is that really a Maserati?” And you can rev the engine, hear the Ferrari designed V8 roar, smile and say “Yup. Not bad, is it”
  5. The coupe versions (3200 and 4200) are actually slightly more practical than equivalent cars, in terms of rear seat leg room that is. I can fit 2 kids in the back seat in their car seats. I couldn’t do that in a 911, Jag XK or Audi. So, in some bizarre skewed view of the world, a Maserati is a sensible family car. It just depends on your definition of sensible and family.
  6. In order to buy a house in England you pretty much need at least £40,000 as a deposit. On the way to saving up for the deposit, you will find yourself with £15,000 in the bank and several years before you save the rest of what you need for the deposit. At this point you can leave the money in the bank and slowly earn 4% interest a year or you can put it into something truly outrageous that is not going to cost much more than a sensible car. Guess which option I chose.

So, the choice is obvious no? Well, in the fairness of things, I also present the collected works of graffiti that have been scrawled over my car:

  1. Posh git
  2. I have a small cock
  3. And 2 eggings (not really graffiti as such, but in the same vein)

I’d like to point out that 1) I don’t think I am- in fact my ex-wife will probably testify to the fact that I am far from posh 2) Maybe, but how do you know? And more to the point, were you talking about me who owns the car, the car itself (I don’t think any cars actually have cocks- insert Porsche or police car joke here) or you writing the graffiti? We have all sorts of sentence construction issues going on here. 3) Who carries eggs around with them when they are staggering home from the pub?

So, on the balance of things? I say go for it. What else could I say?

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